An Offer
A little while ago I received an email with this unbelievable offer - do you think I should take it up or what?
Esteemed Senor Neroustione
Amongst the millions around the world deserving of this opportunity, your name
has been chosen! Zoroaster be praised!!! It is my good fortune to have taken
into possession the almost priceless collection of Vintage Polish wines, Welsh
beers and Australian Cremes De Menth left by my the former beloved leader of our
country, and my own personal cousin, Effendi Gnat, before he was forced by
ungrateful wretches to flee into sanctuary in Haiti. This collection, known
internationally as "Gnat's Piss", is worth a conservative 83 billion sheilas in
our local currency (the Croal) if it can be but realised by sale on the 'unwhite'
market.
I am reliably informed that your fridge is a safe haven for this treasure, from
which it can be sold at a vast, indeed unimaginable, profit, to the "world's
great drinkers" (to cite your local poet Mr Yevtushenko). I am prepared to cut
you into this deal for a small fortune. Please send me, as a bona fide, as
they say in Grease, all the change in your pockets, your bank account numbers,
photos of your credit card, any dirty information you have about Ann Randle (the
poetess), and the speed that you forgot to throw down the lavvy the night that
you chose to go clear. In return, you can take the piss.
Please note that this is not another Nigerian scam because:
a) I am not Nigerian
b) Zoroasterians are forbidden to eat scam.
Your ever obedient servant
Idi Amin Baba (deceased).