Oh No Rodriguez
In the back streets of Naples, the fag packet of life
Carmen was smoking and brandishing a knife
When in came Rodriguez with his moustache and whip
He wore a blood stained bolero and a curl to his lip
He said, “You don’t know our customs it isn’t very nice
To have sex with your friends mother and you have done it twice, Senor!”
I said, “Oh Rodriguez, are you going mad?
I didn’t touch your mother I only shagged your dad.”
He said, 'you still fail to understand me you deal from a dirty deck
You have spitted on my family (Ping) and for that I’ll break your neck monsieur”
Carmen stamped on his cigarillo
she crushed
both his castanets
She screamed, “You're grandfather was a rent boy and your sister has a hairy chest!”
He went straight for his pistola, he was engorged and enraged
But Carmen came so quickly he didn’t see the blade
I said, “Oh Rodriguez isn’t it a shame?
Now you’ve lost your privates you will have to change your name.”
In a back street sex change clinic when no one was about
He went in as Rodriguez and as Dolores he came out
No more machismo no more stubble and sweat
Just badly applied lipstick and buttocks like a burst baguette
In the back streets of Naples