I’m a gangster’s girlfriend’s lover
The last one she had is brown bread
I’m getting rather worried
There’s a horse’s head in my bed
I’m living my life in a panic
She has me right under her thumb
She says I will wear concrete sneakers
If I don’t give her plenty of fun
I promise our love was platonic
We only held hands twice I swear
We may have been shagging for some of the time
But killing me's somewhat unfair
I’m a gangster’s plaything’s plaything
I guess it’s just my luck
I lie awake thinking of dying
And the daisies I’m going to push up
I guess that I must have a death wish
There are body parts in the fridge
I heard the last guy she toyed with
Is holding up a motorway bridge
I suspect that he got suspicious
When he found us naked in bed
He didn’t seem very happy
Perhaps it was something I said
The moral of this sorry tale
Is clear beyond a doubt
Never trust a gangster girl
She’ll only spit you out
She was a wily smiley female
She’s put me off the feminine breed
Now I’m a gangster’s boyfriend’s boyfriend
And I’m very, very happy indeed
But I’m a homophobic homo
There’s a hairy man calling me "Honey"
I suppose I might get to like it
It’s better than being a mummy